BlogYYY
Friday, November 28, 2008,2:26 AM
done buying most of my prom things...
since after a's, almost everyday i have been to orchard to search for my prom stuffs. i m glad mine is almost done. so is xiao ce and korkor's.I MISS YANBING!i m glad that loads of my friends trust my taste and allow me to give them comments on their prom attire. my dress is not considered a secret. the whole of my study clique knows what dress i will be wearing. a little sad though. cos it wont be a surprise. but i do hope that the others will be surprise by each other. haha. ^^i hope that that night will be a really unforgetable night. i hope all of us could be as stunning. after prom i m going to china for holidays. really hope that by then i wont be jobless. cant really search for jobs now because of my china trip. aish. how i wish my china trip was earlier. so i can work immediately after that. hais. i do have a long shopping wishlist. but i do hope that i could save more before i spent. i do hope i save enough for my taiwan trip next year. hmmm.i little stress now. but i miss my friends. i love my friends.doing more packing tml. got to clear my desk and mess properly before i fly. otherwise i might be physically in china. but my heart is with all the tidying. hahaha. tata!
Friday, November 21, 2008,7:09 PM
we are done with 'a' levels
today is the official last day for 'a' levels!
Saturday, November 08, 2008,7:23 PM
tired~!
i must really be strong.i want to believe in my belief.forever friends is possible not a myth.true friends is present not past tense.i m able to succeed in life and not hurting anyone anymore.i m able to do well in the tourism industry!i just need to have faith! ^^
Monday, November 03, 2008,10:28 PM
start of something new.
today marks the start of my 'a' levels. i felt numb actually. my heart is half-dead though. the sky remained overcast for me.i m tired. very tired. seeing them happy is something i should be glad about. yet i felt a big titch of pain when i felt ignored. in the morning. i received the msg from kor saying he forgotten to bring his badge. i borrowed from yiwen and passed to him. in hope to speak to him before the exams. my hope was crashed when i saw him pull seokhoon away after i borrowed comb from her. yanbing was with them. i din talked to him, nor yanbing before the exams. i entered the merciless venue, when i felt really cold in my heart not due to the aircon, but my study group. we were in the same venue, but i dont feel they are near me at all. i saw him outside the venue. he righteously ignored me. i choose to believe he cant see me. but the pain robbed me hard. i didnt expect myself to be such a mood when i sitting for the exams. unexpectedly. i finished my paper 1 20 minutues before time. i had time to re-read my own essay. i wrote the essay on dreams; "How important are dreams?" after checking several times. i put down my pen and fastened the papers.i looked at the clock ticked quietly. disappointedly i m thinking about them again. why do they feel so distant from me? as though i dont know them.after paper 2. i met seokhoon. passing her a poster of wuzun i promise to give her a few days ago. my mood was rottened by paper 2. it was a tough paper i would say. but i tried my best. after that i met up with yiwen. i wasnt very hungry though but i accompanied yiwen for lunch. she sensed that i was unhappy and tried to talk to me. we came to the about them. she initiated the topic and also initiated a change of topic. my mood was at the edge of the most saddening part. she mentioned about her secondary school best friends and her pae friends. i was rather oblivious. she tried to make me talk. but i barely say anything. perhaps she dont know, now i m sensitive to the word 很好很好的朋友. she dont know she had stepped on my weakest part now. it's not her fault. i chose not to explain because it is perfectly normal for people to mention about their best pals. in fact i envy her.i went to the library with her. i distinctly know i cant focus. my brain was too packed for things. i know i should put all this aside. but i din choose to confront all this today. zhongri has done his best to torture me mentally. i brought all the encouragement card my study group made for me. i felt really great looking at those cards yesterday. that gave the verge to fight for today's exams. but what was written on the card feels different now.initially. i thought i was able to study with yiwen. i couldnt. my mind was thinking fully about them. plus i little unhappy with what i encountered in the canteen. i request to yiwen that i go home to nap first. i was too drained both mentally and physically. sorry wen. i left you 2 again.on my way to take bus home. i met them. it was a surprise to me though. cos i thought they left much earlier. i took the same bus with them. i smsed mommy on the bus telling her i m heading home to rest. kor was occupied with a call. well. i think he gets a little agitated over the paper though cos he spoke rather loudly. i was rather occupied with the checking of my dictionary for my vocab meanings. i got them all wrong. i was rather giddy cos i got a sit that is facing the opposite direction of where the bus is driving. bing cared about me on the bus. i told her i was feeling drowsy not sad. but she saw the loopholed through my eyes. but with my inisistent that i m fine. she din question me further. i bid byebye to her when she alighted. i m stuck in a dilemma. i always love studying with my study group. but i dont bear to throw yiwen aside. but i always yiwen as my best pal for leisure. we had similar ideals for fashion and food. but i felt that i cant stop myself from being distracted. once again its not her fault. she also urged me to study with my study group and leave her with kenneth. but i promised her i wont leave her till after a's. my study group...i might not be able to study with you all anymore. i really wished for it. hope for it.Labels: 'a' levels
Sunday, November 02, 2008,12:28 PM
i miss u all~!
tommorrow is the day. well i didnt expect to not with my study group for this period. this is my greatest regret i have left for this school.it has been my longest 45 days. to xiao ce: all the best for the coming exams. pls have more confidence in yourself and trust that you can do it! have faith in yourself. please take care of yourself.to yanbing: my dearest jie. i haven seen you for so long le. how are you? jia you for the coming exams! chiong all the way. we have a long vacation ahead. take care of your health too. sleep early.to zhongri: kor though you might not be able to read this message, i still wish you can stay strong and strive through this period. dont be scare. the ability to score is evident by us. dont say you cant because the thing is that you can.to yiwen: we are still very good shopping partners. but we are certainly not very good study buddies. because we always talk. lols. but you can focus recently! happy for you. nevertheless. jia you for the coming exams. dont scare okay. its just a ' paper'. so let's brave it together! ^^i m going off now. needa do some last min chionging.bye to all!
Saturday, November 01, 2008,2:27 AM
2 more days.
cindy! halos!perhaps people begin to think about how m i now. nervous with exams? stressed up by results? depressed by parents' scolding? tormented by friends' cold shoulder? presurized by my outstanding sister's eq? disappointed with my own wrongdoings?i m determined to conquered all these.all have confronted me at the same time though, i will not give up. i have my new set of principles i wish to follow tightly with. perhaps people may think i m silly to think about all these now as these crucial period is my examination preparation period. i felt strongly that if i dont have the right set of values, the wrong set of philosophy, i will eventually end up as a loser. i thought through a lot these days. i m sure i have caused a lot inconvinence to many. but how to make all these 'already inconvinent' spent worthwhile on me, that's to stay strong and face the music.yiwen is correct today. i have a super obstinate behaviour. although sometimes i promise to change but nothing came out. i would just repeat the same mistake repeatedly. so what's the point of telling me. she will still constantly tell me what's wrong that's because she knows that i m a absent-minded person that always need constant reminders. but others might not have this strength to and guess what, i finally agree.i decide not to be a coward and keep running. zhongri may be right. though i m someone whom constantly says how much i treasure my friends, i dont show it. why? this is because i have changed. i was someone who really deeply believe in forever friends and i still do. i remembered when i was depressed during april, after i got back my common test results. i wanted a dropout. i wanted to escape. i was so stressed to the extent i want to bid goodbye. but he was the one that spurred me on. he reprimanded me for being so abrupt. he said i was too silly to give up after 1 yr and a half effort. i still have the good 5 months to fight. why should i give up. besides saying that he introduced me the first song : "No Secret - I'll remember you" the song was from post orientation 1 video. it has such a deafening effect that it eradicated my idea of leaving school. but what did i do when he needs me during the prelim examination period? what did i do when he knocked onto the table in the library? what did i do when i feel awkward and dont dare to face him when i did something wrong? the answer is disappointedly; i was resting at home after my 1 week diahorrea without explaining to him; i laughed; i blocked him in MSN. what m i doing? i guessed i shocked him as well. so do i deserved his distrust? why not?nevertheless, i dont feel like quitting being his friend. it is a blessed to have such a friend. that's why i m responsible to such for the results why he cannot forgive me slowing earn back my trust.i cant depend on others reminders everytime. i will shoo them away. in fact the whole of my study group inclusive of seokhoon, whom is super tolerant on me, and yanbing, whom still shows me support, had already gave me their limit and i m super grateful. these days i must also thank yiwen for being with me. and also zhongri, who still try to play the 'bad guy'. i want to thank all of you letting me know the importance of growing up. I MISS MY STUDY GROUP! and i m determined to get them back. after that comes my parents. they are more demanding now i understand. that's also because i m growing up i m aware. i m expected of about lots of things. especially health and wealth management. i love my mom. but sometimes i really felt that she could be kinder with her words with all of us. she tends to be a machine i agree. she work in and out and allow us to stay in comfy. she is the best mother in the world. ^^ sometimes i really hope that she could dont throw her status as our mother and order us to do things. she can tell us nicely though. she is still loving enough. mommy pls trust us and put us at home next year if your want to go abroad with papa okay? we are 16s and 18s. can handle our life for the few days le. ^^ dont put us at da jiu mu's place pls.my sister's issue is more or less settled.now i m set for a level's.mdm toh was right. in fact a lot of our teachers told us before. a level's is the most tormenting period. i feel exhausted easily recently. i m still pressing on till the last minute though i am fully aware that i wont get the best results, but i wont get the lousiest. jia you cindy!oh my, it 2.27am le.got to get some sleep le. i m meeting yiwen tml morning.goodnight!Labels: 'a' levels, repent