BlogYYY
Monday, February 09, 2009,12:13 AM
hate this week.
today i realised. i m not as strong as i thought. i m not as tough as i think. i need someone to rely on when i m sad too. but maybe i m too strong on my surface. that my family took it for granted.i haven't been talking much to my sister lately. last few days she just did something i detest the most again to me. i was angered numbly. when i wanted to remind her not to repeat again she always says i nagged and slammed all more reminders down. i m at the peak of my disappointment, when my parents also felt that i m not generous enough to forgot her on her SMALL mistake. however to be honest if this is the first time, why wouldn't i just keep one eye close. the very simple reason is this situation has happened like umpteen times already. but what my sister will say is, "what's done can't be undone; what can i do?" with her attitude like that i always wanted to slap her hard on her face and tell her what she has done is wrong and she should not be so arrogant nor proud when answering me. in fact she finds whatever she had just done was perfectly no mistake. the err is on me being too petty. LOL~! gracious! if one fine day i just used her handphone without telling her, how would she feel? what if she had told me not to use but i REPEATEDLY ignore what she said. then what's her point of telling me in the first place. that's exactly my point when i reminded her. perhaps to her all the above is just some sort of childish act. but to me some things has different meanings. she can't understand...work at Bakerzin have not been as smooth-sailing as i thought it would have been. stress is empowering within me. recently when i worked with my team leader Raymond. i thought he has given me quite a hard push. perhaps due to his shy character some of the things he don't mention i would have to make my wild guesses. and usually i m corrected after Yiwen tells me. but well maybe like what Yiwen has told me, i would need to work longer with him so i could know him better. but that dude is leaving in April. for me? perhaps the end of march would be the date for me to leave. honestly speaking i don't bear to leave there. i have become more and more humane when i start working this year. but i m really in hope that i could just work in a environment full of joy, not stress. i always felt tired when i walk along the corridors of city hall. my heart is haunted with the pressure. i m not happy these days. really. but the people there overall is nice. DILEMMA~!perhaps loads will say, just quit if the job if you dont like it. but i haven't learnt how to make even one simple americano. hmpf.just can't be bothered about my emotions now.yesterday i went back to pj! oh man! i miss my teachers and the uncle and aunties there! of course my cute little juniors! haha. i recieved one rose and thousand compliments yesterday! that's some things that lighten up my mood a little! happy! i m in for my clan ursa! they rock! the others ----- stone.tata~!